But how can we learn to be more present? One basic key:

Learn to tell the difference, in ourselves, between old needs and present desires.

Sometimes, as children, we suffer wounds that we cannot heal at the time. When this happens, these wounds remain with us into adulthood, like ghosts, eager for opportunities to get their needs met.

When these ghosts then come out to play in relationship, they can cause trouble, to the extent of our unawareness.

So: When in relationship, we can keep an eye out for ghosts, in our wishes, in our fears, in our reactions, in our desires, in our passions, in our insecurities.

And when we identify ghosts, what can we do?

See the ghosts for what they are. Don't analyze or criticize them. Experience them in your sense field. And hold them, in your awareness, with kindness.

When we help ghosts heal, we experience the present with more clarity. And from a place of clarity, we are more likely to make good decisions, handle challenges effectively, and enjoy the present.