What would happen if we, as a culture, took the shame out of judgment?

Perhaps two problems would resolve themselves.

Problem #1: Some individuals, afraid of "judging," and unwilling to give themselves credit for their emotional achievements, find themselves getting involved with comparatively immature people.

Problem #2: Some individuals, too identified with judgment, and unable to see themselves realistically (and compassionately), find themselves chasing (or dreaming of) others who are "out of their league."

Do you relate to one of these patterns?

If you relate to the first, work to own your judgments and recognize your achievements realistically. If you wish for a partner, wish for one who is at a similar level of development to you.

If you relate to the second, work to become a kinder friend to yourself — and to recognize your achievements realistically. If you wish for a partner, you too should wish for one who is at a similar level of development to you.

And to both groups: Take the shame out of judging.

Don't shame yourself for judging, and judge self and others, in the context of your chosen purposes, without shaming.

Acknowledging the reality of stages of development might be useful to you in this process.